Being Unhealthy Does Not Make You a Victim

Healthy food is just too expensive. 

Everyone goes out to lunch at work so of course I go with them. 

The gym is too expensive. 

I’m just way to tired after work. 

It’s too hot to work out outside, and plus, it’s unsafe to run where I live. 

Being addicted to sweets is genetic, I can’t help it. 

If I only had a different work schedule, I’d work out more. 

My spouse/parent cooks unhealthy food. What am I supposed to do?

I just love food too much! Whaddya’ gonna’ do?!

I’m too old and tired to work out. 

Working out is nearly impossible when you’re fat. 

I just don’t have self control with food. I am what I am. 

I hate water and I’m not going to drink it unless it’s in sweet tea, coffee or soda. 

My job doesn’t allow me to live an active lifestyle. 

Fast food is way too easy to pass up after a long day’s work. 

It runs in the family, so I’m destined to be fat. 

I hate the feeling of an elevated pulse. Working out is too uncomfortable. 

Healthy food takes too long to make. 

If you have never, ever in your life used any of these excuses, I will mail you $5. I’ve used at least half of them, and heard ALL of them, as excuses to refrain from living a healthy lifestyle.

I’m still using them even today. “It’s way too hot and I’m too tired. It’s my day off, I just want to relax. I want to treat myself since I got a new job, so I’m going to eat junk for lunch.” I’m more tired of hearing it in my own head than I am from hearing it from other people.

Victim Mentality

But over the past year or so, I’ve become more in tune with what it’s like to have a victim mentality. A victim mentality is to basically feel like you’re a victim of your circumstances. You’re powerless, out of control, and unable to make changes in your own life because you give power to everyone and everything around you. Victims blame-shift every bad thing that happens to them on some other than themselves.

I realized lately than I had unknowingly made myself a victim of modern culture, and that’s why I had gained weight. I sit in a cube all day, come home, work at night on my computer or watch TV and go to bed. My co-workers go out for lunch and I usually don’t feel like eating alone. I live in the south so it’s hot, and I hate the heat. I need excitement in my workout, and buying an elliptical machine hasn’t fulfilled my workout desires.

I mean, holy cow, how many times have you heard this from someone? Have you used these excuses yourself?

Breaking out of a winey baby victim mentality is to choose to take responsibility for your choices. If you really felt desperate enough to get healthy, you would. People with less money, less time, and more weight to lose get healthy and lose weight every day.

We are a product of the choices we make.

I am unhealthy and out of shape right now because of my choices, not because of the circumstances that are happening to me.

The Dangerous Weight-Gain Cycle

If you’re reading this and you’re out of shape like I am, the trick is to own up to your choices without self-loathing. Here’s what happened to me last year. I lost like 30 pounds, felt awesome about myself, then lost my steam and over the course of a year or so, gained it all back. With every oncoming pound I gained–with every new pair of pants I bought and new fat-jiggles I didn’t remember from before–I was utterly disappointed in myself.

That disappointment brought on feelings of self-pity, so I got lazy… really, really lazy. Then, I felt guilty for being lazy so I would have a few beers with friends or order that pizza I knew I didn’t need. Then I hated myself for doing that, so I’d comfort myself with laziness. Then I’d get mad at myself for being lazy, lose hope, gain more weight, and the cycle continues.

Stopping this cycle of victimization and taking control of your life and the decisions you make is up to you. No one else will intervene except you. Don’t wait for that awkward comment by a friend, having to go shop for “summer fat clothes”, or have your doctor tell you that if you don’t start losing weight it will endanger your health or your life.

Big changes happen in your life when you take control of self-doubt spirals and make changes.

Don’t be a victim. Stop making excuses and take control of your life (preaching to myself).

Have you experienced this cycle before? What excuses do YOU still hold on to? What’s holding you back from being the person you want to be?

About Ande Truman

Ande has made mistakes in the kitchen since she could reach the countertop. From a restaurant head cook, to cooking meals for friends, to her own solo plate, experimenting & learning drives her. She's also a freelance graphic & web designer, photo/videographer, guitar player and wanderlust-er. In her spare time, she works a full-time 8 to 5 cubicle job. She's the creator of Broke & Healthy.

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Comments for Being Unhealthy Does Not Make You a Victim are now closed.

  1. Hi Ande. I just wanted to say hi because I wrote the card that is featured at the top of this post. 🙂

  2. I just would like to heartily validate everything you said. So true, and that mentality is scarily easy to get into, deceptively socially acceptable, and insidiously muti-faceted. Even if you are fully aware it exists you can fall into a powerlessness rut! Once you see it, though, you can change your attitude practically overnight. For me it can be as easy as a late night binge of cleaning out the fridge and pantry of crap and junk, cleaning out my closet of clothes I actually hate, and making a list of to do ‘s. Like Vesper Lind says, “just because you’ve done something doesn’t mean you have to keep doing it.” For my whole life fix though, it was changing careers (desk job was killing me, and keeping me fat), going to a geeky group which I now adore (self-acceptance is a biggie on breaking the cycle) and making my home a spa like refuge with a unifying color theme, old books and healthy plants. Being overweight is a sure sign I am unhappy and my life is unbalanced.

    • Grace, thank you very much for your comment!