8 Things Not to Say to a Pregnant Woman (and 4 Things To Say Instead)

Guys, this one’s especially for you.

While pregnancy is a ‘wonderful and glorious’ time in a woman’s life, a time like no other and it should be cherished and appreciated…(all said in a sweet sing songy voice while the visual of a blissful pregnant lady in a flowy white sundress twirls around in a golden sunlit field of flowers)…there are things you just shouldn’t say to her (and now she trips over a twig or small rodent, comes crashing to the ground in an unbalanced clumsy fall and the music stops).

1. You’re getting so big!

Really???  As if she doesn’t already feel like a fat heifer without you pointing it out.  Yes, she knows that she’s not ‘fat’ and that it’s only a result of her carrying a baby and not just eating too many McDonald’s combos, but the extra weight gain still stinks.

2. When are you due?

Yes, I understand this is a perfectly logical question, but you must realize that you and 10 million other people have asked her that same question in the last 30 seconds.

3. Do you know what you’re having?

Why yes…a BABY.  If you ask this, prepare for a smart answer.  “Why yes, I’m having a Pterodactyl.”

4. Is it a boy or a girl?

See #2.

5. What are you going to name the baby?

They may not have a name picked out, or they may not want to share the name.  A better question would be “Do you have a name picked out?”

6. How much longer do you have?

While seemingly innocent, this just reminds her that she does have x amount of time still left to get bigger, not sleep, pee every 5 minutes, etc.

7. You look like you’re going to pop!

Unless you actually know her due date (which is wrong 80% of the time anyway), chances are you’ll say ‘any day now’ and she’s still got weeks to go.  This falls right in line with #6.

8. Wow, your pregnancy has gone by so fast!

Nothing goes by fast with an extra 30lbs tacked on.  Yes, it may seem like it went by fast at times, but in the last trimester, it often feels like the baby can’t come soon enough.

So before you ask a pregnant lady a bunch of questions…or any questions, keep these points in mind:

1. By the time a woman is noticeably pregnant, she is most likely noticeably uncomfortable.

2. She’s probably not slept well in weeks, mom is exhausted!

3. Pregnancy creates additional hormones which can really affect her emotions.

4. Her body has not been her own for months.  It’s not easy sacrificing your body for 9 months.  Everything from what you eat, how you dress, how you move, where you can go, etc. is in some way or another effected by being pregnant.

If you absolutely insist on asking questions, here are some good ones:

1. How are YOU doing?

Everyone asks about the baby and forgets that there’s an actual person behind that baby bump.

2. Is there anything I can help you out with?

You have a 50/50 shot with this one, depending on how you ask.  Help is always welcome, but she is also not handicapped.  On a side note, I once got scolded for carrying a box while 8 months pregnant…an EMPTY box.  Seriously??

3. Are you ready for the baby to be here?

You will probably get answers about her and dad being emotionally ready as well as how they have prepared for the baby.

If you notice, there is a theme with these questions, they are centered around the mom and/or dad, not the baby. 

And for the best thing you can say:

4. You look great!  

Every woman loves to hear this, especially when she’s just gained a bunch of weight as a result of carrying a baby for months!

31 By Maggie Gentillini | Maggie is a wife, mother, professional Pinterest browser, and baker. She is currently pregnant with her second child.

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2 Comments

Comments for 8 Things Not to Say to a Pregnant Woman (and 4 Things To Say Instead) are now closed.

  1. So true! I wish more people would read this topic, then maybe they would spare us women a lot of stupid questions. You’re getting so big is never fun to hear pregnant or not! ♥

  2. Good topic. I absolutely loved being pregnant, even when I was bloated and feeling about 20 degrees too hot. I pretty much had a one-track mind: the baby. So I didn’t mind most of these questions/comments (although #1 is probably never a good idea!). But it’s interesting seeing someone else’s perspective. Congratulations on your pregnancy! Hope all’s going well on your end. (And I’m sure you look great. 🙂 )